Published Nature Coast Journal, Citrus County, December 2010
Published Communique, Hernando County, December 2010
There is so many books on the market today dealing with the way in which I think. Some books were published 75 years ago, others 4,000 years ago, and they all say the same thing. What I think about is the way my life will unfold. Could they all be wrong? Is it possible that I already have the ultimate tool for a successful, happy life? The evidence is overwhelming in favor of YES. My thinking does control my life’s outcome.
Several years ago after pondering this idea, I came to the conclusion that they’re just maybe something to this new way of thinking. What did I have to loose by practicing it, lets say for a year, and see what happens.
After lot's of reading I did take the suggestions and looked at my daily life in a different light.
1. Bad things became learning experiences.
2. Financial setbacks became a chance to grow.
3. Depression became a chance to come closer to God.
This new way of thinking was very difficult in the beginning. The more I practiced the better I became. After doing this for many years it has now becomes second nature. I now look at the world with a “new pair of glasses” as Chuck C puts it.
Thanks to an open mind, the influence of friends and a God that wants me to be “happy, joyous and free”, I have reached that goal today. The process was slow but I kept putting one positive thought in front of another and before long it happened. I was a free man.
Being a believer myself today, I beg of you to look at the way your life is going and see if it is in line with the way you think. If your not happy with the results you have now, give this method a chance and watch as the sunlight of the spirit begins to shine.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
GRATEFUL
Am I Grateful?
Published Nature Coast Journal, November 2010
Do I thank the coffee maker for showing up early, setting up the hall, putting out snacks and cleaning up after the meeting or do I just expect because I’m a AA member that it will be automatically done for me?
Do I give thanks to my Intergroup and District Representative for giving of their time to attend the monthly meetings, representing my group and bringing back the latest announcements or information?
How about the Intergroup, Bookstore and District Officers? Oh, and the Hotline as well. And then what about the committees like the Gratitude Dinner, Corrections, Public Information, Alkathon’s, Thanksgiving Dinners, Cookouts and many others? These are members who are giving of themselves to carry our message.
Then there are those behind the web site and the newsletter. Have I ever shown my appreciation to those hard working members?
I need to remember that all of these positions are held by AA members who believe that giving back to our program is the way to insure that it will continue. Without these dedicated members AA in Citrus County would probably not be what it is today or may not be at all. There isn’t always someone willing to do the work. I personally have seen a hundred meetings close because members would not take the positions necessary to keep it going and I have been guilty of that as well.
I took a moment the other night to thank the coffee maker. He was surprised and pleased that I took the time to thank him. He said that was the first time anyone had show their appreciation of his service.
During this Gratitude Month and coming months, I will take the time to show my appreciation to those who serve.
Anonymous
Published Nature Coast Journal, November 2010
Do I thank the coffee maker for showing up early, setting up the hall, putting out snacks and cleaning up after the meeting or do I just expect because I’m a AA member that it will be automatically done for me?
Do I give thanks to my Intergroup and District Representative for giving of their time to attend the monthly meetings, representing my group and bringing back the latest announcements or information?
How about the Intergroup, Bookstore and District Officers? Oh, and the Hotline as well. And then what about the committees like the Gratitude Dinner, Corrections, Public Information, Alkathon’s, Thanksgiving Dinners, Cookouts and many others? These are members who are giving of themselves to carry our message.
Then there are those behind the web site and the newsletter. Have I ever shown my appreciation to those hard working members?
I need to remember that all of these positions are held by AA members who believe that giving back to our program is the way to insure that it will continue. Without these dedicated members AA in Citrus County would probably not be what it is today or may not be at all. There isn’t always someone willing to do the work. I personally have seen a hundred meetings close because members would not take the positions necessary to keep it going and I have been guilty of that as well.
I took a moment the other night to thank the coffee maker. He was surprised and pleased that I took the time to thank him. He said that was the first time anyone had show their appreciation of his service.
During this Gratitude Month and coming months, I will take the time to show my appreciation to those who serve.
Anonymous
Monday, September 6, 2010
Was Noah's Ark a Real Ship?
I am in no way putting down the the writings in the Bible but only trying to make sense of this one in my own mind.
Was Noah’s Ark a real ship or is this writing in the Bible meant to be more than just a nice story?
QUESTIONS:
Noah’s Ark, as it is written in the Bible, was 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and three stories tall. It took just under 100 years to build. It would have taken about 100,000 trees to complete the project. Could 4 men (Noah and his 3 sons) cut that many trees by themselves? Could there have be that many trees in the area. Would the local residents have allowed Noah to clear-cut all their shade without objection? After falling the trees, Noah and his son’s would have to cut the tree trunks into boards. All this cutting was by hand of course as there were no chain saws or even electricity. What about the 1 million nails that would have been required. Who make those and where did all that iron come from? What about the pitch to seal between the boards? Pitch comes from Pine and most of their trees were Palm.
Noah was 500 years old when he started building the Ark and 600 years old when the storm began. There is nothing written about the son’s living long lives. They would have been over 100 when they entered the Ark. And what about there wives? Would they still be able to have children? Remember the story of Sarah in the Bible. She was 90 when she had her first son and that was noteworthy.
And then comes the animals. Could 7 of each species fit on such a boat? What about the years worth of food that would have to be gathered? Where did all that food come from? Many animals only eat certain foods like the Panda Bears. What about the carnivorous species? What kind of meat did they eat? Many, many questions if this did indeed happen as written...
POSSIBLE ANSWERS:
I believe the story of the Arc is just that, a story. It has tremendous meaning and can teach us valuable lessons if we choose, in my opinion, to uncover the real reason this story has been handed down to us through the years. I don’t see it as more of a parable. Parables were used in that day to had down stories as there wasn’t the printed word as yet. Native Americans use stories to hand down their history. Jesus taught in parables, which he knew would be understood many generations later.
I now believe that I am the Arc! I need to get ready for life’s storms that lie ahead. I may not see them now but they are always there. Difficult times are coming so I need to gather all the spiritual strength that I can right now. Spiritual strength is the way through any tough difficulty. My spiritual strength is the animals or you might say my intuition. I need to gather into my Ark 7 of each clean animal (the number 7 means ”personal completeness”). A clean animal represents an intuitive answer to a particular problem. All the solutions that I need for every situation are with me in the Ark. Noah also brought in 2 of every unclean animal. The number 2 in the Bible represents “opposites or choices”. This means that my answers may have many different solutions.
And then there was the Unicorn. We loved the Unicorn. The Unicorn was left behind to show that I do not have all the answers. Problems will arise that I see no earthly solution for and I will have to turn to God for guidance and direction.
When the storm comes and the water begins to rise, the time will come for me to go inside my Arc. Here is where the answers are kept. The answers are not on the outside. That is where the problems are. As the waters rise I am to look inside and to God for the answer. Noah’s Arc only had one window and it was at the very top looking upward. If my ark has windows on the side as well then I will continue looking at the problem and the problem will continue to grow. For Noah the problem was the water. Continually looking at the rising water is not trusting that God will provide. I need to focus inside on prayer (solution) and forget about what is going on the outside (problem).
When the time is exactly right the Arc will come at rest and my feet will be planted on firm ground with a new appreciation for life and that particular problem will be no more.
The Arc is huge because my troubles can appear to be huge to me but the answer is always very small and direct. Focus on God.
In today’s news we read a lot about the date December 21 2012. On this day the Mayan calendar ends and it is predicted that the world may end as we know it and possibly by a worldwide flood. Now is the time to start building my Ark and gathering the animals. What would happen if I build my Ark and the rains don’t come? I will have a more positive way of thinking and a better way of addressing whatever life has in store for me. If that is the true time for the end of time then I will be ready.
I am building my Arc as we speak. What are you doing?
John L - 2010
Was Noah’s Ark a real ship or is this writing in the Bible meant to be more than just a nice story?
QUESTIONS:
Noah’s Ark, as it is written in the Bible, was 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and three stories tall. It took just under 100 years to build. It would have taken about 100,000 trees to complete the project. Could 4 men (Noah and his 3 sons) cut that many trees by themselves? Could there have be that many trees in the area. Would the local residents have allowed Noah to clear-cut all their shade without objection? After falling the trees, Noah and his son’s would have to cut the tree trunks into boards. All this cutting was by hand of course as there were no chain saws or even electricity. What about the 1 million nails that would have been required. Who make those and where did all that iron come from? What about the pitch to seal between the boards? Pitch comes from Pine and most of their trees were Palm.
Noah was 500 years old when he started building the Ark and 600 years old when the storm began. There is nothing written about the son’s living long lives. They would have been over 100 when they entered the Ark. And what about there wives? Would they still be able to have children? Remember the story of Sarah in the Bible. She was 90 when she had her first son and that was noteworthy.
And then comes the animals. Could 7 of each species fit on such a boat? What about the years worth of food that would have to be gathered? Where did all that food come from? Many animals only eat certain foods like the Panda Bears. What about the carnivorous species? What kind of meat did they eat? Many, many questions if this did indeed happen as written...
POSSIBLE ANSWERS:
I believe the story of the Arc is just that, a story. It has tremendous meaning and can teach us valuable lessons if we choose, in my opinion, to uncover the real reason this story has been handed down to us through the years. I don’t see it as more of a parable. Parables were used in that day to had down stories as there wasn’t the printed word as yet. Native Americans use stories to hand down their history. Jesus taught in parables, which he knew would be understood many generations later.
I now believe that I am the Arc! I need to get ready for life’s storms that lie ahead. I may not see them now but they are always there. Difficult times are coming so I need to gather all the spiritual strength that I can right now. Spiritual strength is the way through any tough difficulty. My spiritual strength is the animals or you might say my intuition. I need to gather into my Ark 7 of each clean animal (the number 7 means ”personal completeness”). A clean animal represents an intuitive answer to a particular problem. All the solutions that I need for every situation are with me in the Ark. Noah also brought in 2 of every unclean animal. The number 2 in the Bible represents “opposites or choices”. This means that my answers may have many different solutions.
And then there was the Unicorn. We loved the Unicorn. The Unicorn was left behind to show that I do not have all the answers. Problems will arise that I see no earthly solution for and I will have to turn to God for guidance and direction.
When the storm comes and the water begins to rise, the time will come for me to go inside my Arc. Here is where the answers are kept. The answers are not on the outside. That is where the problems are. As the waters rise I am to look inside and to God for the answer. Noah’s Arc only had one window and it was at the very top looking upward. If my ark has windows on the side as well then I will continue looking at the problem and the problem will continue to grow. For Noah the problem was the water. Continually looking at the rising water is not trusting that God will provide. I need to focus inside on prayer (solution) and forget about what is going on the outside (problem).
When the time is exactly right the Arc will come at rest and my feet will be planted on firm ground with a new appreciation for life and that particular problem will be no more.
The Arc is huge because my troubles can appear to be huge to me but the answer is always very small and direct. Focus on God.
In today’s news we read a lot about the date December 21 2012. On this day the Mayan calendar ends and it is predicted that the world may end as we know it and possibly by a worldwide flood. Now is the time to start building my Ark and gathering the animals. What would happen if I build my Ark and the rains don’t come? I will have a more positive way of thinking and a better way of addressing whatever life has in store for me. If that is the true time for the end of time then I will be ready.
I am building my Arc as we speak. What are you doing?
John L - 2010
Healing The Past
My past only becomes real when I remember something that happened a long time ago and bring that memory into the present moment. Nothing happens outside of the present moment. Life happens in the here and now. Past events are only thoughts. They are not reality. Remembering that the past cannot hurt me anymore, I can change. When I change what I am thinking the past goes back where it belongs. The more I practice this the quicker it retreats and the more I stay in the reality of the present moment. Prayer helps me to change the way I am thinking. Thank you God for these little gifts, which help me to stay sane for one more day.
John L-Editor - Nature Coast Journal, Apr 2010
John L-Editor - Nature Coast Journal, Apr 2010
Changing the Past:
I don’t waste my time grieving over the past. The past is gone. The only thing left is the memory. A memory is just a thought that is brought into the present moment to make me feel good or bad about myself. I don’t control what thoughts come in but I do control how long they stay.
Some say that the past can not be changed. I say the past is a memory of the way I perceived some event that happened long ago or only yesterday. If I can make amends for that action it will change the way I feel about me in relationship to the event. When I change the way I look at some event, the event will actually change its hold on me. When a situation still bothers me, I make a sincere effort to make it right and only then will those thoughts change for the better.
John L—Editor - Nature Coast Journal July 2010
Some say that the past can not be changed. I say the past is a memory of the way I perceived some event that happened long ago or only yesterday. If I can make amends for that action it will change the way I feel about me in relationship to the event. When I change the way I look at some event, the event will actually change its hold on me. When a situation still bothers me, I make a sincere effort to make it right and only then will those thoughts change for the better.
John L—Editor - Nature Coast Journal July 2010
My Favorite Subject - Attitude
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact that attitude has on my life. Attitude, to me is more important than fact. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than appearance, than circumstances, than successes, or even what other people think, say, or do about or to me. It will make or break a company, a church, a home or a person. The remarkable thing is that I have a choice what my attitude will be for that day.
I cannot change my past. I cannot change the fact that people will not act the way I want them to. The only thing I can do is play my song on the one string that I have, and that string is my attitude at this moment.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with all of us. I am playing MY song, just for today?
John L - Editor - Nature Coast Journal September 2010
I cannot change my past. I cannot change the fact that people will not act the way I want them to. The only thing I can do is play my song on the one string that I have, and that string is my attitude at this moment.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with all of us. I am playing MY song, just for today?
John L - Editor - Nature Coast Journal September 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
“How The Universe Works”By John L, Pinellas Park, Florida
Published in the November 2006 Grapevine - Abbreviated Version
I grew up in the middle 50’s in a small town in southern New Hampshire. Everyone pretty much knew everyone else’s business and if things were not right, although concerned, they would look the other way. My father was very involved in the drinking community. When someone had a project and needed help, Henry was there. Of course there was always a case of beer involved. Don’t know if anything would have been accomplished without the beer. As I recall that concept was never tested.
One Friday evening an event happened that would change my family life forever. On his way home from work, my father was killed in an auto accident. His blood alcohol level was point three five. The police and a priest came to our house and told my mother what had happened. The priest told me that I was now the head of the family. I was 12 when this happened. From that moment I shut down all my feelings for the next thirty years. No God, no feelings, alone, but strong.
My mother started drinking heavily. Things got real bad very quickly. Two months after my fathers death I tried my first drink. It tasted terrible but I really liked the feeling. The shy, introvert that I was, became the outgoing, taller, better-looking guy that I always wanted too be. I would have done this much earlier had I only known. That was the beginning.
Although I wasn’t able to get liquor as often as I would have liked, I did managed a six-pack once in a while on weekends. I joined the Air Force after High School to avoid the Army as Vietnam was going strong at the time. The Air Force didn’t care what I did after work so I spent a lot of time in the enlisted men’s club.
I drank daily for another twenty-two years. Like most of us there were lots of little encounters, which I now know as signposts or glaring billboards depending on the weekend. One DWI and a few arrests lead to what I hope is my final drunk. This is the one I never want to forget.
I started drinking at the VFW, across the street from my apartment early one Saturday morning. Sometime late in the evening after drinking all day I was involved in a pushing match with a Spanish fellow over his refusal to speak English. My gun came out and I threatened him and his family. Lucky for me the bouncer was close by and jumped in taking away the gun. But for the Grace of God it didn’t go off. I was taken outside, beaten up and left unconscious in the parking lot.
The next morning the police arrived and off to jail I went. I was charged with assault with a deadly weapon and I was terrified. After a short stay in jail I set bail and proceeded to find a lawyer. The lawyer suggested, because I was guilty, I should consider not drinking anymore and maybe attending AA. “It might help when we go to court if I can tell the judge that you have been sober” she said. I knew she was right and I was really afraid.
I ended up at my first meeting, drinking of course. It did help with the fear. I really didn’t listen much but did hear someone say, “maybe you should go home, get down on your knees and ask God for help.” I did exactly that. I prayed right from the bottom of my soul “please God, help me, I can’t stop drinking.” That was more than twenty years ago. I was able to plea bargain the charges and they were removed from my record after a year of being sober.
I still attend AA on a regular basis, sponsor several guys, have a home group and been involved in the business end of several clubs. Has life been smooth since I got sober? Heck no. Like most of us I have made many bad decisions while trudging the road.
I have spent the past twenty years changing the way I think about myself. I now have the tools for success if only I choose to use them. The most powerful lesson that I have learned is that “it all happens inside my own head.” The perception of any situation is in my mind and I have a choice which way I want that mind to react. I try my best to look for positive solutions, taking my problems to my sponsor or let my friends know what is going on inside me. God works through people and when “the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Sometime the teacher is an old timer and some times the new comer has the wisdom I need. The right answer will always come.
A day at a time with Gods guidance I plan never to drink again. I must always remember that “the monkey may be off my back but the circus hasn’t left town” and it never will for this alcoholic.
John L
Published in the November 2006 Grapevine - Abbreviated Version
I grew up in the middle 50’s in a small town in southern New Hampshire. Everyone pretty much knew everyone else’s business and if things were not right, although concerned, they would look the other way. My father was very involved in the drinking community. When someone had a project and needed help, Henry was there. Of course there was always a case of beer involved. Don’t know if anything would have been accomplished without the beer. As I recall that concept was never tested.
One Friday evening an event happened that would change my family life forever. On his way home from work, my father was killed in an auto accident. His blood alcohol level was point three five. The police and a priest came to our house and told my mother what had happened. The priest told me that I was now the head of the family. I was 12 when this happened. From that moment I shut down all my feelings for the next thirty years. No God, no feelings, alone, but strong.
My mother started drinking heavily. Things got real bad very quickly. Two months after my fathers death I tried my first drink. It tasted terrible but I really liked the feeling. The shy, introvert that I was, became the outgoing, taller, better-looking guy that I always wanted too be. I would have done this much earlier had I only known. That was the beginning.
Although I wasn’t able to get liquor as often as I would have liked, I did managed a six-pack once in a while on weekends. I joined the Air Force after High School to avoid the Army as Vietnam was going strong at the time. The Air Force didn’t care what I did after work so I spent a lot of time in the enlisted men’s club.
I drank daily for another twenty-two years. Like most of us there were lots of little encounters, which I now know as signposts or glaring billboards depending on the weekend. One DWI and a few arrests lead to what I hope is my final drunk. This is the one I never want to forget.
I started drinking at the VFW, across the street from my apartment early one Saturday morning. Sometime late in the evening after drinking all day I was involved in a pushing match with a Spanish fellow over his refusal to speak English. My gun came out and I threatened him and his family. Lucky for me the bouncer was close by and jumped in taking away the gun. But for the Grace of God it didn’t go off. I was taken outside, beaten up and left unconscious in the parking lot.
The next morning the police arrived and off to jail I went. I was charged with assault with a deadly weapon and I was terrified. After a short stay in jail I set bail and proceeded to find a lawyer. The lawyer suggested, because I was guilty, I should consider not drinking anymore and maybe attending AA. “It might help when we go to court if I can tell the judge that you have been sober” she said. I knew she was right and I was really afraid.
I ended up at my first meeting, drinking of course. It did help with the fear. I really didn’t listen much but did hear someone say, “maybe you should go home, get down on your knees and ask God for help.” I did exactly that. I prayed right from the bottom of my soul “please God, help me, I can’t stop drinking.” That was more than twenty years ago. I was able to plea bargain the charges and they were removed from my record after a year of being sober.
I still attend AA on a regular basis, sponsor several guys, have a home group and been involved in the business end of several clubs. Has life been smooth since I got sober? Heck no. Like most of us I have made many bad decisions while trudging the road.
I have spent the past twenty years changing the way I think about myself. I now have the tools for success if only I choose to use them. The most powerful lesson that I have learned is that “it all happens inside my own head.” The perception of any situation is in my mind and I have a choice which way I want that mind to react. I try my best to look for positive solutions, taking my problems to my sponsor or let my friends know what is going on inside me. God works through people and when “the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Sometime the teacher is an old timer and some times the new comer has the wisdom I need. The right answer will always come.
A day at a time with Gods guidance I plan never to drink again. I must always remember that “the monkey may be off my back but the circus hasn’t left town” and it never will for this alcoholic.
John L
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Addiction Is Only A Symptom
ADDICTION IS ONLY A SYMPTOM OF THE UNDERLINING PROBLEM
Written by John Levasseur
Citrus County, Florida
Citrus County, Florida
Addiction... alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, shopping, eating and even having everything perfectly in it’s place is only a symptom of the underlining problem. Many who start a recovery program, like AA, find that after arresting the primary addiction the problem is still there. Sure the family is much happier now that the alcoholic has stopped drinking. The boss is happier now that his employee is showing up for work on time. The bill collectors are quiet and all appears to be going very well, at least on the surface. But reality is, nothing has really changed. The problem is still there and will come back if not treated. The problem is what needs treating so that the symptom will stay at bay.
Any addiction, doesn’t matter which one you pick, they all come under the heading, “outside solution for an inside problem.” Until you address the actual problem the desire to find an outside solution will still exist. I have watched this happen over and over in others as well as myself during my years in recover. Here are some of the obvious examples.
Example 1: Ted, a heavy drinker for years has joined AA and has been sober for a month. He is much happier and is using the group as his Higher Power. Ted attends a new meeting and meets Mary who is also a recovering alcohol who has been sober for two months. Love at first sight. They have coffee after the meeting, go over to Ted’s apartment and a mad love affair begins. Two weeks later, Ted has found the new love of his life in Phyllis who has just been released from rehab. Mary is devastated and goes back to drinking. In this case the love of alcohol was replaced with a love for attention. This happened to me after 3 years in recovery. At that point I was still the same person who sobered up three years before. Mine new addiction found me in a marriage that only lasted 52 days. I had a gun to my head wanting the pain to stop. Again I didn’t know what I didn’t know.
Example 2: After being sober a month and having more time on my hands, I joined a movie club at a local grocery store. After watching the first movie in years, I wanted to share the experience with all my friends. I went and purchased a second VCR for taping. Monday night was fifty-cent night for movie rentals. I would rent 5 movies and set the alarm clock for every two hours so I could change the tape and put in a new one. Within three months I had a library of 600 movies, a bookcase full of tapes, a new computer to keep the lists up to date and lots of new friends borrowing the free movies. It wasn’t until a friend pointed out to me that I was just switching seats on the Titanic. She said that eventually this obsession would turn to one that was more destructive. It was working for now but until I address the real problem, which only I was aware of, the obsessions would continue.
If it weren’t for looking for love in all the wrong places, or a simple distraction like taping movies, both myself and Ted would have found the race track, signed up for a new credit card, or put on twenty pounds with our new found love of Twinkies. Unless I look at the real problem, outside solution with continue to come, one after another.
MY SOLUTION: Each person has their own daemon that is unique to them. Mine was the extreme dislike that I had for myself. Since childhood I had always wanted to be someone else. My parents were no help. Both were alcoholics and had their own demons chasing them. Once I was aware of the actual problem, at age 45, I could finally make some serious changes in the way I thought. Awareness came in therapy with a good councilor. I was able to address the real problem head-on. I first had to stop the destructive behavior. I had already stopped drinking and now it was time to give away the movie collection. I donated it to my sober club. Then I started writing. I even had notes on my mirror reminding me that I wasn’t a bad person just one that had been lead down the wrong path. I was a computer programmer and knew that I had been programmed with lots of bugs and just needed to make some changes in the way I thought and all would be well. Now that I was on the right path it was time to start liking me, just for today. It was also time to start helping others.
This process took years not months like I wanted. Now I really like who I am, can look myself in the eye in that mirror and can be alone in my head for days now instead of minutes. I have not become a legend in my own mind as yet but really like the person that I have become. Still can’t say I love myself, but that’s ok for today.
If you do the work, you will get the results. If I change the way I look at things, the things that I look at will change. I changed the way I looked and thought about me and my outside world did change and to this day it changes one thought at a time.
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