Published Nature Coast Journal—September 2008

Just another day sober, I think not!

Published Nature Coast Journal—September 2008

Here it is, August and time to be grateful for another year sober. Of course I am grateful all the time but this is a special month.
It seems like only yesterday that I walked into my first meeting three sheets to the wind. Didn’t have the courage without some help. I must have heard something because after the meeting, I went home and got down on my knees, looking at my p-stained mattress and said, “Please God, help me. I can’t stop drinking”. That was the first step and I didn’t know that I was doing it. From that moment to this day I have never looked back wondered, “maybe someday I can drink like the others”. I knew then what I know today and that is, if I ever drink, the old me will come back and finish the job it was trying to do back then. I know in my heart that it will be miserable, not only for me but for all those I love and those who love me.
So what has changed from those first meetings? Today I accept any challenge that life may present, meet it with a positive attitude and a willingness to learn the lessons. For it is not my problems that will get me drunk, it is the way I handle them that is so important. That is why a sponsor, even after all these years, is so important. I cannot rely on my thinking when things get crazy. The old me sleep’s lightly, so the saying goes. I certainly don’t want to wake him after sleeping for 22 years. I imagine he will be pretty miserable and willing to change any bad day I am having into one that I will never forget.
Another saying that I really like is, “when things get tough, the tough get going”. That is when I need to talk with people who know me and formulate a plan of action. It always starts with a little chat with God. I explain my dilemma, and usually how I would like to see Him resolve the issue. Then I get serious and ask Him, right from the bottom of my heart, for help and try to LET IT GO. Don’t always work the first time but I keep going back to the basics and practice, practice, and more practice.
Today my life is just the way it should have been all along. I have a wonderful relationship with my 3 children, 11 wonderful grandchildren who have never seen Papa John drink and am even on speaking terms with my ex-wife. I now can say I do service work, sponsor men, work a complete program and I love who I have become. For this I am given the gift of another day sober. Thank you God.